Missing him

I've been missing and thinking of my little Landry a lot lately. 

I saw this saying and thought it was perfect for my little guy.



Tender Mercies

I guess Landry wanted to be part of Owen's Make A Wish trip too!  We saw this restaurant and even though Bentley, Abby and I aren't huge seafood fans we decided we had to go there.  I thought the food was great, Bentley and Abby weren't so sure.  I don't think they would be fans of returning in the near future!  Lenn loved it and called us all a bunch of chickens because we all ordered some type of shrimp.  He claims we can get shrimp anywhere.  Which he is right, but new things scare me especially when I don't even know how to say the name of what I am eating!

It was fun and I am glad we ventured out. 

Cute little gas pump.  I wanted to bring this home with me.

It is crazy how the Lord puts little things in our day to help us out.  Even though it is just the name of a restaurant it somehow made us feel a little closer to our little Landry.

Landry's second angel day

This year this day came so fast and I really didn't have anything prepared.  I wanted to do something like last year with donating baskets to the Logan Hospital NICU, but I didn't get it together.  Instead, we donated to a family and I hope that it will help them in the desires to have a healthy child.

We decided to go to the temple that day.  It was a beautiful, nothing like last years blizzard! 

 Abby, Lenn and Bentley on Lenn's bench at the cemetery. 

(I'm not sure what was going on with the strange tint.)

 I read about a family having a halo toast and I thought it was a fun idea.  We got donuts, told one of our favorite memories and then toasted Landry.

 Reflecting

Lenn and Bentley found this dragonfly pinwheel while grabbing a few groceries.  It is perfect!  Lenn and Abby also found another angel statue kneeling.  I love this picture.  As I was looking through all of the pictures of the day this one stood out, with that bright glare I can't help but think Landry was sending a little of him down for the day.

We now call this Landry's flower.  It has bloomed on his angel day the last two years. 

Last year it even bloomed in the snow.  Just a little tender mercy sent to us.

A little info.

This is a total self diagnosis but a few months ago on the SMA network (like facebook for SMA families) I saw a little boy with type 0.  I had never heard of it before but this little boy sounded so much like Owen and Landry.  I tried getting information from a doctor but never heard back. Today I thought about it again and googled it.  This is what I found.

"Three types of SMA affect children before age one year. Type 0 is the most severe form of spinal muscular atrophy and begins before birth. Usually, the first symptom of type 0 is reduced movement of the fetus that is first seen between 30 and 36 weeks of the pregnancy. After birth, these newborns have little movement and have difficulties with swallowing and breathing."

After Owen was born and we were in Primary Children's NICU we got to answer question after question at least a dozen times for each doctor.  I told each one of them, that my pregnancy was normal until about six weeks before I delivered.  Most of them just blew it off as if I didn't know what a healthy baby felt like.  In fact Owen's records are still wrong because I finally gave up the fight of trying to get them to change them. 

Owen and Landry were both super active until the last, which I know can be normal but they slowed down before healthy babies do.  Landry was so active that he had the cord wrapped around himself numerous times.  One doctor said "that tells you he was an active baby" as we were trying to have hope that he would 'snap out of it' and be healthy.

I know many of you wonder, as we do, about Owen and Landry so I thought I would share the information I found.  I will keep you posted if I find anything more.

I remember the days that I realized the baby inside was not moving.

Owen

Landry

Landry's Birthday 2012

Landry's Cake

Landry's birthday came and went again this year. I felt more like we were celebrating his part in our family rather than being said that he is gone. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have that families are forever and we will see him again.

The cemetery

We took a drive to get lunch, balloons and look for a dragonfly. Lenn and the kids found this cute dragonfly with a solar ball beneath it.

Bentley and Abby love to run to the fence and back with the balloons before they let them go.

It was pretty chilly and windy so Owen stayed in the van and enjoyed watching his ipad.

We had a good day celebrating our little angel!

For Landry's Birthday

Landry's 2nd birthday is coming up and I want to do something for someone else. For me it helps get through the hard days when I am thinking of someone else. This year I want to do what I can to help this family. There little boy Keeynn was one of Owen's NICU neighbors. He passed away shortly after Owen left the hospital. Later they had a little girl, Kyla Kynn, she passed away too. They were born with a genetic mutation and their little bodies can't produce the needed surfactant for their lungs.
My heart goes out to this family, they would love to be able to have a healthy child to love and raise.
For Landry's birthday I am going to donate to this family in Landry's name and invite you to do the same. They have an online donation center, or if you aren't very online savvy you an send it to me and I will send it on to them. Every dollar counts, if you think your donation would be too small think again because every little donation adds up to something big.
Please feel free to share the link to my blog to spread the word.

http://www.indiegogo.com/Genetic-Mutation?i=wdgi

How the dragonfly came to be!

This is how far behind I am with blogging, I took these pictures last July.

This dragonfly was right outside our backdoor when I noticed it (it was huge). I immediately thought of Landry. The funny thing is, is that his dragonfly hung out there in the same spot for the whole afternoon. When I showed it to Abby she said, "I guess Landry wanted to come visit." I agreed. We love dragonflies now and think of our little angel whenever we see one.

Now, why a dragonfly?

One evening a good friend called and said, "hey I wasn't going to tell you, but I put a solar dragonfly at Landry's grave site and I forgot to turn it on." How thoughtful, but I didn't realize how much it would mean to us until we started seeing dragonflies everywhere and they were a constant reminder of our little angel. They make us smile and remind us that he is never far away.

Now the really crazy thing is that Landry would be turning two years old at the end of this month. It is unbelievable to me! It seems like forever ago but it also seems like I was just pregnant with him and preparing his arrival. I miss my little Landry so much but I know he is hard at work in Heaven. I also know he will never be far from us and he will always be cheering us on to make it back to him.

I am not as prepared for his birthday as I was last year as far as what to do, but I have an idea so you will have to stay tuned because my idea might take all of you to pull off so be prepared.