This thing called death...

This week has had it's highs and lows.  The highs have been wonderful and the lows have been horrible!

We found out that Lenn's old football coach and friend lost his mom, then the very next morning we found out that one of our good friend's had lost his dad in a tragic accident.  This morning we found out that sweet little Maggie, an sma angel, had been called home to heaven to join her big brother. 

Our hearts have been heavy the last few days. 

We do believe in Heaven, we do believe in life after death, so why is death such a sting?  I wish I had the answer but I do not!  I have said and heard others say that it is the ones who are left behind that don't want to have to go on without their loved ones.  It might be selfish, but I am right there.  It is hard!  It is something you never plan on or expect to have to go through.
It doesn't matter how old, sick or weak a loved one is or how ready you might think you are.  I do not believe you can ever truly be ready for the reality of the death of a loved one. 

After losing Landry, life became different, very different.  It probably seems crazy to some what some of us hold on to or what we might do because of it.  We are very blessed to have two healthy children.  We probably spoil them and give them way too much but it is hard not to.  It is hard not to try to capture every single moment of every single activity!  I am grateful for photos and videos.  I probably have way too many pictures and videos to ever get organized but I don't care it gives me something to hold to.  (I really don't think you could ever have too many photos though).  So if you ever think we are crazy at a football game, me with a camera, Lenn with a video camera and still taking full advantage of all of Karla's pictures we just might be.  We may be a little crazy but that is what is getting us through grief, I guess.
I can't help but feel blessed and taken care of at this time.  Owen is doing well, as well as he can, and will be six in January. 
Even though we are part of the SMA community and we hear of death a lot, it never gets easier!  Each time an angel is called back to heaven are hearts break once again.  The thoughts of Landry passing come rushing back.  The tears flow without warning and your mind stays with the family dealing with the recent lose.  Even when you don't know the family your heart honestly hurts for them. 

This song has been in my mind all day today, especially the third verse.

Each Life That Touches Ours For Good

1. Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

2. What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

3. When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory,
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.
4. For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior’s name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

Placed in our lives

I believe in a much bigger plan than any one of us could ever imagine. I believe the Lord places the people in our lives they we need the most.
Over the last five, almost six years, we have been blessed by the people who have been placed in our lives.
This fall, Lenn was looking at more sheep!  He found some and told me he was going to get them.  I told him I wanted to go, which was odd.  It is so much easier to stay home, but I had a strong feeling to go that day.  I kept trying to talk myself out of it, but I kept getting that same feeling that I should go.  We loaded Owen up and off we went.  The whole way over I kept thinking of all the things I could be doing at home.
We got to the place where the sheep were and there was an older man and a younger lady.  I was in the truck with Owen and Lenn was visiting with them for awhile. Then the lady left and later came back out and headed for the truck.  I opened the door to say hello and instantly I knew why I needed to go that day!
This young lady has a story of her own, and a fairly recent one. Yet she seemed so brave to be talking to me about it and keeping her composure the whole time.  Yes, there were a few tears but her strength was something to write home about.
She has a little angel that came way too early due to her own health conditions and also hospital negligence.  She told me her story and then told me what miracles she witnessed with the birth and passing of her sweet little girl.
I am very grateful I was able to meet this lady, she is no longer even in the country but her strength and testimony will always be a great example to me.  Sometimes it helps to know that we are not alone in our trials that we are given and to see others with such strength lets you know you can do it to.
I know our loving Heavenly Father has a plan and even though it is not always fun or easy, His plan also contains the help we need to endure the trials that are given to us.  We have been blessed with such great examples through friends and family and I am so grateful to have them through any trials that come our way.