Have you ever lost a puzzle piece to your favorite puzzle? My thoughts come from a book I read, 'Joy Cometh in the Morning', by Fran C. Hafen. I remember how it struck me as I read it the first time. Then I was playing on photoshop and found this cute puzzle piece so I figured I would share my thoughts.
"I felt like our lives would always be a jigsaw puzzle missing one central, critical piece....I now understand the awful truth that this piece was not only irreplaceable but it would not-and could not- be found for a long, long time." I somehow love this analogy, no not the missing piece or not finding it in this lifetime, but knowing that one day our puzzle will be whole. I now picture our family as puzzle that will have to wait to be put together.
Our cute little 'pieces'
I think of Landry and the empty spot he has left in our puzzle. No matter how hard we look we will never find that piece, nor can we replace it. It is just gone for now. It hurts so bad, knowing our baby is gone. As a Mom, I want to be able to fix everything and knowing that I can't just re-order this certain puzzle piece is a bit frustrating.I still feel as though I am in a very long, bad dream. Then reality brings me back and I realize this is real. I never imagined I could hurt so bad. How grateful I am for my testimony of eternal families, that is pretty much what gets me through each day, along with a great husband and other children.
I am so sorry!!! It is such a hard road and your right it does always always feel like a piece is missing. Even in the most pefect times its still not quite what it should be. Sending much love your way today.
ReplyDeletei think about you often. loved what you wrote. girl, you are the greatest.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could tell you that it gets easier or that the hurt goes away over time, but the truth is that it's been almost 11 years since we lost our little boy and if I think about it too long, it brings me down for a long time. The good news is that you KNOW in your heart that Heavenly Father is holding Landry for you and loving him until you get there. That always gives me comfort knowing that he isn't alone and that Heavenly Father is loving him and holding him. There are so many pictures of Christ holding children and I know that He is doing it now with our children that have to go before us. Life stinks sometimes and we don't know why we have to go through the things we go through. Thankfully, at some point, we will have our children again and your puzzle will be complete. Heavenly Father will help you through your tough time, and He will continue to help you throughout the years. If you close your eyes and pray I know you will feel His arms wrapped around you in a hug, holding you until you can stand on your own. Love you guys and hope you are holding on. Just remember one day at a time and one step in front of the other. Take care.
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