Landry's Angel Day~One Year

Landry's Angel day...first of all we made up some baskets to donate to the Logan NICU. The idea came to me as I looked at the some of the gifts that were given to Landry. I didn't know what to do with them. I wanted to do something good though, in behalf of Landry. We took most the outfits, (the ones that hadn't been used yet), and diapers that I had bought and made up gift baskets. The baskets were some from the flowers at his funeral. Thank you for your generous gifts to us and Landry. I hope it was okay to pass them along.Bentley and Abby were out of school for spring break so we headed to Logan to deliver the baskets. Abby kept telling me that I couldn't cry like I did before when we took back formula and his car bed. I was thinking 'yeah right'! We got to Logan, it was raining on the way but not too bad, just as we got there it started hailing like no other. It was crazy. It was so loud in the van. When we got to the hospital Abby and I took the baskets to the NICU. I told the lady at the front we wanted to donate these baskets to the NICU. She looked at the size of diapers and said in a real nice voice, "you know we use smaller diapers here in the NICU." Yes, I had thought of that but who doesn't like diapers that your baby can grow in too, right? I couldn't muster up the strength or courage to tell her why we had chosen the NICU and who these gifts came from. I figured I had done what I wanted and she could do whatever she wanted with the baskets.On the way home from Logan we thought we had taken a wrong turn and gone back to January!! The roads and weather were pretty bad, but we made it.We stopped at the cemetery to leave an angel and a bunny (Easter was coming up). We had also ordered some tulips. We left those and decided that if we took his solar snowflake maybe we would be lucky enough to enjoy some spring. It worked for a few days! And this.... as if Landry had sent us a gift. Our first flowers bloomed that day. I took a picture because I figured they wouldn't last long with the weather.

We ended the day with another beautiful sunset and view.

Landry's Birthday

I have put this post off for various reasons but I have already forgotten some of the feelings that I had so I figured I better post. I am sure I was pretty miserable to live with for a least 6 weeks before this day came. I didn't know what to do, or how to act or feel. I was in a state of confusion to best describe it. I wanted to do something big to honor Landry, but time and creativity were not on my side. I wanted to do something as a family, but of course sick season is still huge. Owen had not been doing great so it was really hard to plan ANYTHING. We decided to keep it low key and see what the day would bring. Bentley and Abby both had things at school that they didn't want to miss. (I think that was a great sign that they are doing okay through all this.) Lenn and I took Owen and went to lunch, came home and got Bentley and Abby and then headed to the cemetery.

Owen fell asleep, as usual, right before we got there. Bentley and Abby sent balloons and we left a little monkey. We had other things ordered but they came the day after. After our visit there we came home to find that someone had come and left a nice treat and a cute decoration. We are surrounded by such loving friends.I wouldn't feel right if I didn't make a cake for this special day. The cake topper was Bentley's when he turned one. I added a little dragonfly to his foot since dragonflies are now a great reminder of Landry. We got to end the day with this beautiful sunset. I know Landry was with us to celebrate his birthday. It wasn't has emotional as I had expected but we did keep ourselves busy. I think the anticipation of the day was so much worse than the actual day. Our little angel would be one. I still can't fathom the whole idea of it being over a year ago. I know he is busy doing a great work. I also know that he watches over us. I am grateful for my little angel but oh how I miss him in my arms.